Sunday, August 31, 2008

Breaking News! Karl Rove is Vladmir Putin

Wears Sumo Suit When Inside U.S.


I was as disappointed as anyone when Senator John McCain crawled out of the 2000 election as a slithering henchman to the Bush White House.

How had they done it? How did they break him? Was it simply the horrifying realization that the dark side is very effective? In 2000 he bet his political shirt that truth would always conquer lies. His foe Karl Rove, Master of Puppets, had risen to power by using the opposite philosophy: lies work better, they work faster, and can be crafted to acheive the stated goal. Rove made road kill out of the crusading McCain. In the eight years since, The Rove Model: start with the desired conclusion (invade Iraq, subvert the democratic process, etc.) and fill in middle part, (where many of us would foolishly use facts) with juicy delicious half truths and outright lies, to get back to the beginning (where many of us would foolishly start) and pinpoint the problem.
So, we start with the conclusion, let's say "It's Time to Invade Iraq Now", then fill in the middle with yellowcake, unsubstantiated single-source "intelligence" and foam flecked rhetoric, and we get back to the beginning: a braying goat in the desert named Saddam is at the center of world terrorism.
Let's do another. Start with the conclusion, "It's Time to Invade Georgia Now", fill in the middle with paranoia about the west, and false sense of urgency, to get to the beginning: United States proxies in Georgia are killing Russians in South Ocetia. Oh wait a minute, that was Putin.
Hey, hang on! He stepped back from his official position to a more oblique one in which he is still in the spotlight, and still firmly in power. Is it President Putin, or Fox analyst Karl Rove?
Have you ever looked into their beady eyes? They're the same I tell you! They're the same!
And here' why I hope they are not:

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